


You are not alone

by Farah_Rose



Category: Free!
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Universe, Communication, Episode 4, Free! Dive to the Future, Friendship, Light Angst, M/M, possibilities, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 01:22:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farah_Rose/pseuds/Farah_Rose
Summary: The aftermath of Makoto's race with Hiyori and how his words affected Haru.





	You are not alone

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly did this last week and forgot to post. Hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> None of these characters are mine. Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

The car drive from the swimming pool was tense, with everyone trying to subtly glance at Haru. Hiyori’s words affected him to his core. He looked frozen, expressionless but Makoto could sense the raging emotions inside his best friend, the self doubt, the pain. He tried to speak to Haru but like Asahi and Kisumi, he was ignored. He was sure Haru couldn't even hear them lost in his mind. Makoto sat beside him in the backseat of Kisumi’s uncle’s car with Asahi riding shotgun. He moved closer, their legs and shoulders brushing together. He wanted Haru to know he was there, he didn't know if it worked or not but Haru made no movement to push him away. 

 

Since Haru lived the closest to the community pool, they pulled in front of his apartment building first. He got out the car quietly and quickly, leaving the door opening and standing on the pavement. The boys in front both turned to look at Makoto for the translation. He stared at his best friend's silhouette, frowning. Understanding instantly, he turned to his friends. 

 

“I’m staying at Haru’s place tonight.” he said, climbing out the opened door to join Haru. He waved goodnight to the others as the car pulled away and disappeared. 

 

They walked in silence to Haru’s apartment until they stood still in front of the locked door, Haru staring forward, Makoto staring at Haru, neither moved. Makoto sighed, fishing out his key for Haru’s apartment, opening the door for them. He placed a gentle hand on Haru’s back and guided them inside. 

 

“Haru.” he said softly, finally gaining his attention. 

 

His best friend send him the smallest smile of appreciation. “I'm going to take a bath.” His voice hoarse, sadness clouding his blue eyes. He stepped away from Makoto and fled to the bathroom. 

 

Makoto sank to the couch, emotionally drained when he heard the bathroom door shut. He had to compose himself and be stronger for Haru, the weight of guilt heavy on his chest. He needed to talk to someone. He couldn't deal with this alone. He hastily pulled out his phone from his bag. Without checking the time, he dialled. 

 

“Hmm.” A groan on the other end. 

 

“Rin.” He choked out. 

 

“Jeez Mako. Do you have any idea the time.” Rin mumbled. Makoto heard rustling when Rin sat up on his bed and the flick of a light switch. 

 

“Sorry. I can call back later.” He rubbed his face. 

 

“No that's okay. Knowing it's you means it's important. Talk to me.” Rin’s voice soften. He sounded more awake. 

 

“It's… I..I don't know what to do Rin. I feel like I'm losing him.” Makoto sobbed, trying to catch his breath. 

 

“Whoa. Take it easy big guy. What's got you upset.” He was not accustomed to hearing Makoto break down. Rin could hear the tears while he spoke. 

 

Makoto retold the entire story from start to finish, about Ikuya and their quest to meet with him, the race, ending with Hiyori’s final words to Haru. He felt an ease to tell the tale but it was drowned by the tightness in his chest. He furiously wiped the tears on his face with the sleeve of his t-shirt. 

 

“Shit.” Rin hissed. “Take some deep breaths buddy. In through your nose and slowly out through your mouth.” Makoto followed his instructions until he had his breathing under control. “How bad was it?” he asked, fist clenched waiting for the answer. 

 

“We were at the pool and he didn't glance at the water, not even once Rin.” he clutched his shirt over his heart, trying to rub the pain away.

 

“Fuck.” Rin cursed in understanding.

 

“The worst part is that I am a total failure. I watched him say those words to Haru and I said nothing. What's wrong with me? Why didn't I defend my best friend? He is in so much pain. I am such a coward.” he asked, bringing his legs of the floor to his chest. He was trying to pick up the least amount of space as possible. 

 

“You are not a coward Makoto. Stop beating yourself up.” Rin scolded. “The fact that you accepted a challenge and then swam that race against a trained swimmer is nothing short of awesome. You are amazing. You are sweet and kind Makoto. I know you will find a way to help Haru because you are his best friend. He listens to you more than anyone else.” Rin said with utmost sincerity. 

 

“How do I do that Rin? How do I help him?” he asked, gripping the phone tightly. 

 

“By being yourself. You're all he needs. You tend to naturally know what Haru needs. I mean you guys have that whole telepathic things. Trust me on this, okay. If you don't believe in yourself right now then believe in me and trust me. ” Rin smiled. Clearly Makoto didn't know how special he was. 

 

“Thanks Rin.” Makoto was unsure but the reassurance and conviction from Rin was lessening the constriction in his chest. He could do this couldn’t he? He knew Haru better than anyone. He could figure this out. He breathed a sigh of relief. 

  
  


“Want to keep a secret?” Rin asked, trying to cheer him up. 

 

“Huh.” Makoto sat up, his legs dropping to the floor. 

 

“I'm coming for a visit this weekend. Sousuke says he has something to tell me but he needs to do it in person. I told Gou keep him from trying to surprise me in Australia so I could surprise him myself. She's a lot more excited than she needs to be.”  Rin laughed, not being to keep the affection out his voice when talking about his best friend and sister. 

 

“It’ll be great to see you. I promise I wouldn't say anything.” he smiled for the first time that night. 

 

“I know. I can't wait to see you too. I'll check Haru then and see how he's doing.” Rin vowed. 

 

“Thank you Rin.”

 

“Anytime and anything for friends Makoto. You have nothing to worry about. Have faith in yourself and your relationship. Everything will work out.” Rin words echoed in his head even after their said their goodbyes. 

 

Makoto stood and walked towards the bathroom. He took a deep breath before knocking and opening the door, only to find the bath empty and drained. He heard movement behind him in Haru’s bedroom. 

 

He peeked through the door expecting to see the futon spread out on the floor for him to sleep. But the floor was bare. Haru was curled under the covers close to the wall, leaving enough space for Makoto to lie next to him on the bed. 

 

Makoto took a quick shower and changed into his overnight t-shirt and sweatpants. He carefully sat on the bed, hoping the jarring wouldn't wake Haru. He laid down in his back, on hand behind his head and the other resting on his stomach. He could hear Haru’s breathing next to him. Makoto stared at the ceiling trying to figure out what he could do. 

 

Haru’s breath was slow and shallow at first then it gradually became erratic. He began thrashing around in his sleep, he was frowning. Makoto sat up and turned to his side. He tried to shake Haru awake. 

  
  


“Rin. Ikuya.” Haru cried, eyes closed shut, lost in his dreams. 

 

“Haru.” Makoto shook his shoulders gently. 

 

“I am sorry.” tears slipping past his eyelids and down his cheeks. 

 

“Haru.” Makoto tried again. 

 

“I didn't know.” Haru sobbed quietly. 

 

“Haru!” He almost shouted, pulling Haru upward into a sitting position, holding him up by his shoulders. Haru blinked his eyes. 

 

“Makoto. Makoto.” he whispered, slightly disoriented.

 

“I am here Haruka.” he cupped his tear stained face, using his thumbs to wipe away as much moisture as he could. 

 

“Makoto, why am I like this?” Haru dropped his head on Makoto's chest, wrapping his arms around the taller man’s waist, clinging to the fabric of his t-shirt. 

 

“It is not your fault Haru. You cannot control the reactions and actions of others who swim against you.” He said sincerely, rubbing a soothing hand on Haru's back. 

 

“But I make them suffer.” his voice was muffled in Makoto's t-shirt. 

 

“You do nothing like that.” he gently pried Haru away from hiding. His blue eyes sparkling in the night light with unshed tears. Makoto lifted his chin with his finger, conviction prominent in his green eyes. “That is not true. You don't ask to be better than anyone. You are the best because you love and appreciate the water the most. Everyone has a goal they want to achieve when swimming against you but you just want to swim to simply be in the water. And that is what makes Haru special that no one else will ever have, until they understand this. You are not to be blamed for the actions of others who swam with you. We are all humans and we are entitled to our emotions. But the true test is how we build ourselves back up in the face of conflict and adversary. He had no right to pin that on you.” His gaze made it difficult for Haru to look away. He wanted badly to believe those words. He knew Makoto would never lie to him but it hurt. Hiyori’s words hurt. 

 

“But Ikuya, Rin, even Asahi.” his still held tightly to Makoto, his lifeline. 

 

“Asahi is still your friend now isn't he?” Makoto replied with a small smile. 

 

“Yes. But.”

 

“No buts Haru. Didn't he figured it out in middle school when you collapsed what his genuine fear was. Aren't you swimming for the same team again? Don't we hang out outside of school?” Makoto asked, already knowing the answer but he needed Haru to say it for himself. 

 

“Yes.” Haru breathed. 

 

“And Rin. Do you remember our last relay when we swam together. Do you remember Rin’s emotions and words to you?” Makoto hand never stopped it’s soothing movement on his back. Haru could feel the warmth being transferred into himself. 

 

“I would never forget what you have shown me.” He quoted. 

 

“Exactly. You and Rin have always had an understanding beyond all of us. Rin is your rival, yes but he is also your friend. Right?” Makoto tilted his head knowingly. Damn his best friend for knowing him better than anyone, Haru thought. 

 

“Yes. He told me in Australia what happened after our race in middle school. It was not happy.” Haru looked away, a tint of pink on his cheeks. 

 

“But look at Rin now. He found himself. He's following his dream, swimming in Australia. And he's happy, happier than he's ever been. And you are apart of that Haru. If you truly believe you are a part of the reason they suffer and fall then you must believe that you are also a part of the reason they build themselves up again and succeed.” Makoto’s words brought his attention back to his best friend’s beautiful and calm face. 

 

“Do you think some part of him hates me?” Haru asked softly, showing his vulnerable side only to the one person in front of him. 

 

“Never. Rin has never hated you. It was his insecurities that caused him to lash out. I'm sure if you ask him, he would tell you it's because of you he can be happy and himself now. That it was never your fault.” Makoto was very sure of his answer. He pulled Haru in for a hug because he looked like he needed one in that moment. 

 

“Ikuya..” he said sadly.  Makoto grasped him by the shoulders. 

 

“We are going to see him. We are going to find out what happened. We are going to figure this out. But I need you to stop carrying this burden by yourself. You are not alone Haruka. You always have me. And in this situation, we have Kisumi and Asahi too. We are not giving up so let us help you. We are all here for you. Okay?” Makoto shook him gently. 

 

“Okay. I don't want anyone to suffer because they swam with me.” Haru admitted, his hands moving to hold on to the sleeves of Makoto’s t-shirt. 

 

“You know that's ridiculous right.” Makoto tisked. “I swim with you all the time, almost everyday. I am always happiest when I swim with Haru. I love swimming next to you. I swam against you once.” 

 

“I remembered.” Haru recollected the memory clearly. 

 

“And how did I react when you won?” Makoto’s chin nudged his head gently. 

 

“You laughed and then smiled at me.” he hid his face in the warmth if Makoto’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat and the occasional rumbling when he spoke. This is what safety felt like. 

 

“I did. Because it is always inspiring to see you in the water. It never matters if you're better than me or not, once we get to be there together. I asked you to give it your all and you respected me enough to do so. It felt amazing to swim next to you.” Makoto laughed, his action shaking both of them. 

 

Haru shook his head. “It was amazing watching you swim today.” Haru looked up again to see the surprised face. 

 

“Really?” Green eyes opened wide. 

 

“Yes. You're the best backstroke swimmer I know.” Haru said truthfully and proudly. 

 

“You're just being nice because you're my best friend.” Makoto tried to brush it aside. He was never one for compliments because he seldom believe them. 

 

“No Makoto. It is because I am your best friend that i would never lie to you. You are the best. Your strokes are powerful, mesmerizing. You raced for me. I never got to thank you for that. Thank you Makoto.” Haru smiled, a real smile. Makoto’s heart skipped a beat. It was so beautiful how much Haru's face changed when he smiled genuinely. It was always a rare occurrence but Makoto sent a silent thanks to the Deities he get to witness it. 

 

“You never have to thank me Haruka. I don't do anything for you because i am obligated to, I do them because I want to and because I care about you.” Makoto patted his head, running his fingers through Haru’s sleep messed hair. 

 

“Come on.” Makoto climbed off the bed, standing with a hand extended out to Haru. 

 

“Where are we going?” he frowned, partially at the outstretched hand but mostly at losing the warm cocoon of Makoto's embrace. He missed the contact. He grasped the hand firmly and allowed himself to be pulled out of bed. Haru didn't fail to notice how perfect his smaller hand fit in Makoto’s larger ones. 

 

“We haven't had dinner yet. I'm going to heat the leftovers. You can find us a movie to watch while we eat.” and before Haru could asked, “Yes I am going to reheat the grilled  _ saba _ for you.” 

 

Haru’s lips tugged listening to his best friend move around in his kitchen. This is what he needed for the rest of his life. This security and comfort. Hiyori’s words were still present in his mind but the sting was less. He was been protected by a Makoto sized wall. 

 

He opened the laptop knowing exactly which movie to choose for them. He knew it would make Makoto happy, even though he'll try to deny it. He left the laptop on the living room table for them after dinner. 

 

Haru settled on floor at the dining room table, his legs crossed under the table. Soon Makoto joined him, with steaming bowls of their food neatly arranged on a tray. His stomach groaned when the smell permeated his senses. Makoto chuckled quietly as he took his usual spot next to Haru on the floor. 

 

“Thank you.” Haru pulled his bowl of rice closer, quickly adding two pieces of  _ saba _ . He looked lovingly at his food. Makoto laughed observing him. 

 

_ “Itadakimasu _ .” they said before digging in hungrily. Neither realizing how hungry they were until the they ate. They finished in record time, their bowls sparking clean. 

 

They settled on the couch with a tub of popcorn and two cups of tea, after cleaning up. “The little mermaid?” Makoto looked surprised at the screen then back at Haru.

 

“Uh huh.” He nodded, crunching on his snack.

 

“Okay.” Makoto smiled, an excited gleam in his eyes. He was touched that his best friend remembered his love for that specific cartoon. He knew Haru would never admit it but he enjoyed the movie as much as Makoto did. 

  
  


Makoto was quietly singing along with Sebastian when felt eyes on him. He was trying not to look and make things uncomfortable but the pull was becoming unbearable. Their gaze finally met. Haru’s eyes full of fondness and something else. Makoto gasped. It was the same something else he knew he possessed in his eyes when he looked at Haru. It was now reflecting at him. 

 

Haru leaned closer to him. Makoto swore he watched him approached in slow motion. His hands were stuck to his sides. Haru giving him enough time to move away, but he remained motionless. The depths of Haru's eyes were filled with determination. Makoto’s eyes fluttered shut when he felt the wasp of breath on his face and soft hands bracing on his shoulders. 

 

The brush of Haru’s lips on his was surprising at first. It was soft and strange but familiar. If he was perfectly honest, he half expected to taste  _ saba.  _ But it didn't _.  _ It was a mixture of popcorn, green tea and a unique feeling and taste that was Haru. It was not a sexy open mouth kiss. It was shy, light and full of love and emotions, Makoto wanted to cry. The easy pressure of their lips sliding against each other, exploring and getting used to being connected. 

 

It ended as fast as it began, in a manner of seconds. Makoto eyes remained closed as he savoured the taste, licking his lips. They were still tingling at the contact. 

 

He slowly opened his eyes to meet an amused gaze. They were thankful for their in depth knowledge of each other and their skill for silent communication. Makoto was not sure he was able to speak at all. They shared a smile, a secret smile. 

 

Haru squeezed his shoulders before releasing him, returning to his position on the couch. He then scooted closer, raising Makoto’s arm over his head and across his shoulders. He fit perfectly. Haru kissed his knuckle, intertwining their fingers before returning his attention to the movie. Makoto finally catching his bearings, returned the gesture by placing a kiss on Haru's hair. 

 

In that moment, everything had changed but also nothing changed. What ever trials and hardship were thrown their way, they would continue to deal with it together. Tomorrow was another day, but for now they were going to enjoy the shift in their relationship without a care in the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh how I wish Kyoani would make Makoto and Haru canon. They deserve this.


End file.
